Sexual Relationships

Some helps and walkthroughs to create your own toolboxes and hone your skills based on Risky Business: Learning to Consider Risk and Make Sound Sexual Choices. My Core Inventory/Ground Zero/Manifesto for Sexual/Intimate Choices: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If you feel stuck, it might help to cover one bare basic…

Choices about sex and intimacy will always involve some risks, and making sound choices when risks, emotions and social high stakes are involved isn’t something anyone is magically expert at. How can we learn to do it well, and what are some common things that trip us up?

If cunnilingus isn’t an activity he enjoys, and he’s made clear he doesn’t enjoy it and doesn’t want to do it, in my book you don’t bring it up again as something you want. He’s made clear it’s just not for him right now, and he tried it twice to see. He knows you’re interested in it, so he’s…

You know, anytime anyone says or feels that they literally hate someone’s body or body parts, my advice is going to be that it isn’t a good idea for the person with those feelings to be intimate with the person with that body. If we deeply disdain someone’s body parts, or anything big like that…

Many men – and people of all genders – will not and do not wait until marriage to engage in various kinds of sex with partners. That’s as true now as it was 20 or 50 years ago. For at least the last 100 years in the west, most people do engage in some kind of genital sexual activities with…

I don’t think a relationship can be ruined by a person not having the kind of sexual responses, sexual feelings, desires or sexuality a partner wants. Unless. Let’s say people in a relationship with those things going on won’t accept that that person, try as they might (or not, if they don’t want to…

Words for gender, sexual or other kinds of identity don’t usually mean the same things to all people. In fact, they very, very rarely do. Those words also can never tell us all or even most of what someone is comfortable with sexually, what their sexual boundaries and limits are and what they are…

I don’t know about you, but the times I call myself things like stupid are times I feel really bad about myself, usually for doing something I don’t feel good about. Then I call myself something like that and I feel even worse, and have an even harder time making choices that are about being kind to…

I understand why you’re feeling heartbroken. I’m so sorry this is how things have been going for you and that you’re hurting so much. I strongly doubt you were stupid, and I want to remind you that this isn’t something you did by yourself: both of you chose to add sex to your relationship, not just…

The excitement of everything early in a relationship can be one of the most amazing feelings ever. Everything is perfect! Your partner is adorable! Everything about this person is endearing! You always get along! Everything feels so easy and natural! You both have permanent goofy grins pasted on…