Sexual Relationships

(Elizabeth’s question continued) I tried to show him porn and he literally left the room. I know he isn’t gay because whatever hatred he has for the female body is only a fraction of how turned off he is by the male body. He says that he sees sexual things as a chore and would rather masturbate…

Kasey: before I say anything else, let me just say that I’m very sorry this all went down this way for you. You holding back tears while continuing to give someone oral sex (which disturbs me), your husband having intercourse with someone else and you feeling unable to say anything, your feelings of…

There’s no reason for you to feel guilty or horrible about having the thoughts and concerns that you do. Being exclusive with someone is about making a choice, and a choice that is – ideally – meaningful if and when we make it. If it was rote or easy to make it wouldn’t be meaningful. If…

Oddly enough, I was just pulling up these statistics for something else the other day. Very few people in the world will have but one sexual or romantic partner in the whole of their lifetimes. A census sponsored by the CDC from 1999 to 2002 found that on average, adult men between the ages of 30…

If he’s kissing guys but not you, that might be a sound reason to think about his sexual orientation. But that doesn’t appear to be the case. Our sexual orientation isn’t based on who we do not feel emotional or sexual attraction to, but to who we do have those feelings for. Of course, if we’re not…

Here’s the kicker: there’s nothing we can do or know which will guarantee that a partner will enjoy something we do. Nothing. One facet of readiness for partnered sex has to do with being able to accept that and be okay with it. Another part is knowing that no matter what we do, there are probably…

There is no one way to do things when it comes to sex which will guarantee that a partner sticks around or does not. There also is not any one way men feel or behave when it comes to sex and relationships, nor any one way women do. Generalizations about these kinds of things are very infrequently…

I see a few issues that need to be addressed here. First things first: giving someone any kind of sex they want any time they want it not only will not keep them from having other sex partners, it is – as you’re experiencing – something that doesn’t create a healthy sexual dynamic or feel very…

If you’re not comfortable with anything sexual at any time, then the answer is always to make clear to a partner that you aren’t comfortable with what they want, and wait until you are comfortable with whatever that thing is. If you never are, that’s okay. It’s pretty rare that any two people will…

No, it isn’t. It’s not always true for men either, nor is there a sound reason why it would be more true for women than it would be for men. As well, if women have a female first sex partner, or men a male first sex partner, there also is no golden rule or given about if any of us will have long…