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The problem with asking someone else how to do something that’s just for and about yourself is that you know better than anyone else what’s best. But we can certainly fill you in on some basics. Includes the skinny on masturbation and UTIs, bleeding during masturbation and on finding masturbation just isn’t doing the trick.

What you’re asking about is most typically called female ejaculation (even though not everyone with a vulva identifies as female, nor does everyone who identifies as female have a vulva), and often colloquially called “squirting.” Before I say anything else, I want to say these four things first: 1)…

Is your boyfriend or girlfriend more than a couple of years older than you? Here’s a scoop on age differences and what to watch out for.

Whenever you or a partner are being treated for an STI or any infection, it’s best to hold off all sexual activity until you are sure everything is clear and healed up. Even if your symptoms seem to have disappeared, it can take your bodies a while to completely clear the infection and get back to…

I’d say that one big part of being ready to have sex with a partner is either having some measure of trust in them or being okay with big risks of things like someone telling other people intimate things if you don’t have that trust. But most of the time, most people are going to want to go with the…

Hi there, I think you’re being a little insensitive towards your girlfriend. Have you talked to her at all about why she’s not comfortable with any sort of sex yet? Perhaps four months of dating is not enough for her before having any sort of sexual relationship. Try not to be confrontational ……

Hi Lucy! I think you may need to give yourself a break. It sounds like have a good partner, good relationship, and healthy attitude towards sex. You’ve educated yourself and are practicing safe sex (I assume, from your post). This is more than many young women can say for themselves! Good for you!…

Hi there, It is important to remember that young people mature at different rates. Not all people with uteruses will have started menstruating by the age of 14. There are other stages of puberty that are important and lead up to menstruation. For example, by the age of 14, you should notice some…

Hi there, You can relax; You’re normal. Ejaculate is usually a relatively small (teaspoon or so) amount of fluid, and generally doesn’t come out with such force that you should feel it. Some women say they CAN feel it, but you’re not abnormal for not being able to feel it, and there is nothing…

Hi Merie, For the record, that awkward sex happens from time to time, no matter who you are, how many partners you’ve had, and how many times you’ve been with said partner. It’s okay, and it’s completely normal. You aren’t doing anything wrong either. Have you told him that while you enjoy being on…

Lisa, I can’t implore you enough not to take this personally and not to think about this as you being inadequate. You’re not inadequate: you two just wanted different things. Our needs and wants and someone else’s needs and wants are just not always going to mesh, even when one or both of us really…

The short answer is… when she’s okay with or wants a pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection. Here’s the longer answer, since it’s a bit more complicated than that. To get you up-to-speed with the basic facts, when it comes to pregnancy, of every 100 women who have vaginal intercourse…

(CMH’s question continued) He likes petite girls, as do most guys. I am tall (for a woman) and big. I weigh over 200 pounds, though I carry it well. I do not have a pretty face, though I would not call it ugly. It is also not particularly interesting. He told me that even though I have a good…

Fordyce’s spots – if that’s what we’re talking about here – are nothing to be concerned with. If they are on the lower shaft of the penis – rather than around the glans – and you have had them for a while and have not been sexually active with a partner, that’s certainly a possible issue here…

I’m going to assume that when you say “sex” you’re talking about vaginal intercourse. If your boyfriend is going to have partners with vaginas who experience pleasure with sex, he’s going to have to adjust his way of thinking. Most people with vaginas – around 70% – are NOT going to reach orgasm…

See that part where you say you don’t know what he wants you to do? When you two had that conversation – or better still the next day or now, when he’s sober, and you can even ask him if he meant what he said in the first place – your next question would have been exactly that. In other words,…

While out of town this weekend, between two plane trips and a couple late evenings up reading, I started and polished off Elliott Currie’s The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence in very short order.

(Steve’s question continued) I feel weird having to rely to masturbation while having her. We’ve messed around a lot, meaning making-out, I’ve done almost everything to her breasts, and rubbed her vagina through her clothes with my hand and penis(dry humping), she has played with my penis through my…

(Elizabeth’s question continued) I tried to show him porn and he literally left the room. I know he isn’t gay because whatever hatred he has for the female body is only a fraction of how turned off he is by the male body. He says that he sees sexual things as a chore and would rather masturbate…

You just answered your own question. You don’t need me at all! :) If you don’t think you can handle a sex life right now, and you don’t feel like sex outside of a certain context – which you are not currently in or don’t have the opportunity to be in – fits with what you believe or is going to be…

In an advice answer on Crisis Pregnancy Centers here at Scarleteen, and also reprinted for my column at RH Reality Check, I originally included a link to a hotline – the American Pregnancy Helpline – as one option for women looking for support with a pregnancy they wanted to sustain rather going…

Everyone has a body. Everyone has sexuality. The problem is that not everyone has a healthy or positive image of her/his body, especially in regard to his or her sexuality. And who can blame them? Just look around: Sex is everywhere, because sex sells. The sad side to this cultural phenomenon is…

You know, it can be pretty stressful for guys to feel like they have to have an erection… OR ELSE. It can also be very stressful for anyone to have intercourse for the first time or with a new partner. The real pisser is that stress is one of the most common reasons a guy won’t get an erection or…

Kasey: before I say anything else, let me just say that I’m very sorry this all went down this way for you. You holding back tears while continuing to give someone oral sex (which disturbs me), your husband having intercourse with someone else and you feeling unable to say anything, your feelings of…

You’re not the only person confused by this term, so let’s see if we can’t clear it up for everyone once and for all. When healthcare professionals ask that question, they are asking from a sexual health perspective. In other words, what they are wanting to know is if a patient or client has…