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In many ways, sex education often seems to get stuck in two big places. Plenty of people seem to think that if you’re talking about sex to young people at all – no matter how you’re talking about it, no matter why you’re talking about it – that’s progressive enough, and for some, that in and of itself is too progressive. Despite Americans having over 100 years to get used to sex education at this point, for many it still seems an innovation, and not a particularly welcome one.

If you are in Italy these days and spend some time watching the news and talking to Italians, you’ll notice that there is one topic on everyone’s minds and that’s rape. In the past few months, there has been extensive media coverage of several rapes that have been perpetrated in the big cities. There has been a huge public outcry coupled with a large demand for more police presence and tougher punishments for rape. Just last week, Prime Minister Berlusconi responded by passing emergency laws to deal with the situation.

For folks who have experienced any kind of sexual violation–including medical experiences that have felt violating–it makes some sense that you might have anxiety or fear about pursuing further care. I don’t know that I have The Answer for you when it comes to how to best manage this, but I do…

Some of what you’re describing is what plenty of people who identify as asexual describe. Many asexual people report that it’s not a matter for them of not having sexual feelings, but instead, a matter of lacking any motivation to pursue those feelings actively with sexual partners, and also for…

In life, generally, we can get ourselves in a pickle and need someone to talk to. Our friends and families love us, they can have great advice, but sometimes it doesn’t match up with what we need or want and we don’t want to offload on them or ask them for some new advice and tell them some of their well-meaning words didn’t work and “so… can we try something else?”. Which is how I have felt a lot of the time.

While it would be nice sometimes to have a fact sheet that listed everything every person enjoyed with sex – after a while it would become boring to have all the answers and the fun of discovery with partners would no longer be present. That said, I can’t tell you what position would be best for you…

Everyone will have a time in their life when they are embarrassed for someone “catching” them doing something. You can rest assured that you and your boyfriend are not the only people to have a parent walk in on you during sex. Let’s take a moment first and consider timing. Sex of any kind is…

Virginity is not something physical or medical. It’s a cultural idea, one which many people have different definitions of and opinions about, and one that not everyone even subscribes to in the first place. The idea that vaginas can be permanently loosened is a myth, and one we have addressed over…

Young women today have it so much better when it comes to sex than we did… right?

My teenage years were filled with “evangelical sex education.” I remember the heavy use of punctuation in my True Love Waits book and wondering what sex was really like. At the time, I assumed marriage was the future of my sexuality. This was a bit upsetting considering sex felt like an unknown planet where I was unwelcome. In order to change history I started researching sexuality education programs. I was angry about my limited education and felt confident that there must be at least one curriculum in the US with gumption and accurate information for teens.

There is no one sexual activity which we can know brings everyone to orgasm or even almost everyone. Even though plenty of people certainly enjoy oral sex, not everyone reaches orgasm that way, nor from any other one activity. Your ideas about that aren’t accurate, though I can certainly understand…

The best rule of thumb when considering risk for pregnancy - always assume unless you’re using a reliable method of birth control that pregnancy can happen. The process that takes place in person who can become pregnant is called the menstrual cycle because it’s a full process that takes place, not…

Whether a person is having issues with trust due to sexual abuse or any other reason under the sun, I really like how Staci Haines, in The Survivor’s Guide to Sex, concisely outlines three basic factors for trust. She talks about competency, consistency over time, and congruency between words and…

A baby isn’t a bargaining chip. A baby is a very small, but very whole, person. Just like me, just like you. And a child deserves to be considered as a whole, actual person, not as an object to possibly get you what you want for yourself. What I hear you saying is that you are now feeling a very…

Just last Tuesday, right down the street from you, or perhaps even right where you live, two teenagers had sex for the very first time, and it was exactly as we all wish those first experiences to be. Or was it?

Anna, I’m sorry to hear that you’re in this tough situation right now. You really like having your friend as just a friend and want to keep it that way whereas she would prefer a more sexual relationship. You don’t want to hurt her feelings but you also don’t want to keep having sex! While we…

You sure can. When a person who menstruates has their first period, it’s because they also first ovulated. In other words, first ovulation happens before your first period, so when you get your period for the first time, that means you will have also been able to become pregnant in at least the one…

Hello Shell, You bring up a good point here, something that most people with siblings deal with in some way or another. I am going to answer your question based on my background and experience as an older sister, sociologist, and online sex educator here at Scarleteen. Concerned older brother or…

From the Kaiser Health Disparities Report: A Weekly Look At Race, Ethnicity And Health: Blacks were disproportionately affected by sexually transmitted infection rates in 2007, including chlamydia rates that reached a record high and syphilis rates that increased for the seventh consecutive year, according to a CDC report released on Tuesday, Reuters Health reports (Dunham, Reuters Health, 1/13).

To answer your question, I find myself wanting to give a little bit of background information and talk about the language I’m going to use, just so we’re all on the same page and you can best understand where I’m coming from! Hopefully you can bear with me for a minute while we talk about that, and…

From both our personal experiences of our own varied sex lives, and in our work in sexuality with many other people, it seems pretty clear that really letting someone into an internal space in your body, or going into someone else’s insides – which we know might sound a little gross, but that is what’s going on with this stuff – is a fairly big deal for many people. So, what might make sexual entry different from other sexual activities?

I think the easiest way for the two of you to get out of the cycle about arguing about this is to take it off the table for right now. Here’s what I hear: • I hear that he is feeling conflicted about whether or not he is ready, in many ways. However, it sounds like most of what he is saying is that…

Before I say anything else, I want to be sure to connect you with a couple of avenues for help because I am very concerned about the state you’re in right now. Clearly – and it’s really common for this to happen – seeing your rapist has triggered a lot for you and clearly, you are in a state of…

I hear you that this is a tough situation to be in, turbo! It certainly may seem like the reverse of what most people face when they are questioning their sexual orientation. However, I assure you that it is actually much more common than one might think. For all the great resources there are about…

Dear Scarleteener, congratulations on being such an active participant in your own health care, and for doing your best to take care of both your physical and emotional well-being. That can be hard to do, particularly when life and school get crazy (as they tend to). I’m hoping that the gynecologist…